Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
