She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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