I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
