Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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