Define "chronic" masturbator.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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