You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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