She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
