He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize