I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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