You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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