Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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