last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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