im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
