He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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