Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I wish i was in the wii world.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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