what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
