i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
this is an emotional support booty call
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
