This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
