SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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