Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
