dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
we're so committed to being not committed
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
