idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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