My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
