Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
