drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
