Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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