We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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