you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
