I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
