remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize