Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
