Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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