You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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