that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
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I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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