He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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