I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
