onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
