member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
