In the future we'll all be gay
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
