Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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