i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
