omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
