I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
