Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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