I just pynch a tree in the face
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
