Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
