Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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