Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just want to make out with him forever
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
