Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You pole danced in your parka.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
