Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
