I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
