he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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