I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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