I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
