White coat. Heels.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
