Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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