Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize