What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
