I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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