You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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