so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I came so hard my ears popped.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
