I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
